Over the years, in all the 'effective listening' courses or books I have been exposed to, I have not seen where these methodologies have helped a seller or a partner know when they have listened 'enough'.
This past week in our public Story Leaders™ StorySelling workshop, I had a breakthrough in understanding about listening. In past workshops we have avoided building our "Who am I" stories until we first learned the building blocks in the much less emotional subjects of "Who I Represent" or "Who I Have Helped".
This time, because Ben and I now realize how important vulnerability is to connection, we decided to have our participants build their "Who Am I" stories first.
This enabled us on day 2 to use those stories in our Story Tending exercises. When the 'seller' in those role-plays purposely tended the buyer's "Who Am I" story, magical, emotional connections started happening—even in the 'lab'.
It struck me that once you 'get' the building blocks of your own story [point, setting, complication, turning point & resolution] you now know what building blocks you need to 'get' of your buyer's or partner's story in order to listen 'enough'.
The process of tending the others story until you have 'enough' was magical.
Friday, March 18, 2011
How Do I Know When I Have Listened Enough?
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The notion of emotion, attachment to others, sharing vulnerability, and the like is like a V-8 moment (forehead slap included) to someone who has been schooled in the features, benefits, bits and bytes style of thinking. You are on to something and that sound you hear is the applause of those that think this is a difference-maker that will revolutionize sales (and account management). David Zahn (President of ZAHN Consulting, LLC)
ReplyDeleteHi Mike,
ReplyDeleteOne of my biggest a-ha moments at the training this week was when I truly 'got' the idea that my story must include vulnerability for it to create the trust and relationship I am intending to have with my buyer.
Creating my story initially was a good way to get this a-ha up front, allowing me to use this aspect in my other stories.
Thank you for a power packed training.
Corey
successful relationships are about connection and require vulnerability - two winners.
ReplyDeletewinning is a different mode and is about offense and defense and has a winner AND a loser
jennifer
“…grant that I may not so much seek to be understood as to understand…" - the prayer of St Francis. It is hard to stay in the 'understanding' mode. The real discipline is staying there as long as possible. So much magic comes from not jumping to a conclusion or our own point of view. The more I practice this, the more I realize that i can avoid lengthy conflicts, opposition & debate. The more I practice this, the more it becomes contagious to those with whom I'm trying to connect with and sell to.
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